A Muggle at Hogwarts
by arrandomness
Summary: Hermione tells her neighbor about school without actually telling him about magic. Rated T for language.


A Muggle at Hogwarts

_**Before I Start:** This was meant to be a companion one-shot to a longer story I am in the midst of writing, but I got so excited by it that I really wanted to post it. So I changed just a litttle bit to make it stand on its own. It takes place after Harry defeats Voldemort. **The deal with Tyler:** He is the same age as Hermione. They're neighbors that grew up together. The summer before sixth year, the Granger and Hansen families took a cruise together, and Hermione and Tyler had sex in her room. Neither of them regret it, and though they're not dating, they're still good friends. He doesn't know about magic. **The deal with Hermione:** Hermione is more independent and free-spirited than in the books. She also isn't the little innocent prude JKR makes her out to be. Please excuse my crude language._

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Summary: No, there isn't really a Muggle at Hogwarts. This is Hermione trying to tell her Muggle neighbor about school without telling him about magic.

"Hermione!" my neighbor, Tyler Hansen, called out as I came home from my morning run.

"Hi, Tyler," I replied, taking my headphones out of my ears and shutting my iPod off. It was a splurge gift to myself; I couldn't use it nine months out of the year, but I really wanted one, so I saved the money I got babysitting during the summers.

Tyler jogged across our yards and gave me a hug. "Ew, you're all sweaty!" he teased.

"Well, what do you expect? It's hot!"

"Ah, well. So how've you been? I haven't seen you in forever. Probably since the summer we were sixteen, actually." We both looked away as we remembered what had happened on that cruise.

"Yeah, it's been a while. I wasn't even home last summer. I went to my friend-Ginny's house for her brother's wedding, then bunked with her until school." I decided last minute not to tell him my friend was actually Ron, not sure how he would react.

"Nice."

"Yeah, it was. Almost like there was magic in the air."

"So tell me about school, Hermione."

Oh, shit. There it is. Time to lie. "Well," I began nervously, "It's boarding school.

"Good job! You always were a smartypants!"

"Shut up, you." The teasing made it easier to lie, while still telling the truth "There's four houses, each named after one of the founders."

"What are they called?"

"Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin."

"Those are weird names."

"They're-nicknames!" I invented.

"Oh. Which one are you in?"

"Gryffindor. For brave people."

"Nice. What classes do you take?"

Shit. Totally screwed. "Well," I started, stalling so I could think, "It's a . . . specialized school. There's a lot of random subjects."

"Like what?" Why, oh why, did he have to be so freakin' inquisitive?"

"Let's see. . ." I tried to think of Muggle equivalents for each subject. "There are a lot of science classes. There's Physics, Chemistry, Botany, Zoology and Astronomy." That was Transfiguration, Potions, Herbology,  
Care of Magical Creatures, and Astronomy. "Um, there's Math, Cultural Studies, and History." Arithmancy, Muggle Studies and History of Magic. "Then there's Psychology-I hated that class. Dropped it." Divination, of course. "And there's one more...what is it?" I feigned memory loss as I tried to think of what to call Charms. "Oh yeah. Preparation for the Future. You learn all kinds of cool things like how to be happier, get what you want, and even how to make things fly!" Cheering, Summoning, and Levitation charms, respectively. Tyler didn't know I wasn't kidding about the last one.

"Wow, that's really cool. I wish I'd gone there."

"Ha! No you don't. Especially not last year." I said without thinking. Damn. Now was was going to have to explain. "I mean, it was my last year. We had really important tests. Tensions were so high it was almost a war zone! But me and my two partners aced the practical. Beat the bad guy!" I finished with my war zone "analogy."

"And the written?"

"Don't know yet. We'll get the results later this summer." That was true. Harry, Ron and I wrote a report of everything we knew and did over the course of the year. We were waiting for Kingsley to read it and get back to us.

"Oh, nice. So-what the hell is that?" He pointed at the sky. "That is a huge bird!"

I looked up, too-and saw a cloaked figure on a broomstick. Damn it. Looking closer, I could make out fiery red hair. Ron.

"I don't know. Maybe we should go inside in case it attacks."

"Good idea. Nice talking to you, Hermy!"

"Don't call me that!"

"See you later!" he said laughing.

"Bye, Tyler." He ran back to his house, while I walked up to my porch. Once there, I took out my wand and cast a strong Notice-Me-Not charm on Ron. Then I cast the Muffliato around me and yelled, "Ron, you  
stupid Pureblood!"

He landed next to me and I quickly ushered him inside.

"What?"

"You can't ride a broom into a Muggle neighborhood. You might have been seen!"

"Whatever. Do you have any food?"

"Ugh! Boys!" I looked in the fridge and threw a block of cheese at him.

Just then the telephone rang. It was Tyler. "Just wanted to make sure you got in okay."

"I'm fine," I told him. "Guess it was just some stupid bird."

Ron looked at me and smiled sheepishly.

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Author's Note: What do you think? I'd love some reviews!


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